Why Can’t Things Stay the Same!!!!
A few months ago, I had some feelings that I had internalized. In trying to express those feelings, they always came out in anger. I shed a lot of tears and Craig being the type of person who meets things head on, just informed me that “Things Just don’t stay the same”. Why, I ask myself must that be! Of course, I realize that there are certain things that must change or else you would never have progress and maturity.
We have had so much death in our family over the last several years and those people are gone for good. When you reach for the phone to call your mom to tell her something you just know she would want to hear, you realize “Oops, that won’t work!” Of course, she hears it anyway, but it just doesn’t seem to be the same. Recently I found out that my very favorite Aunt is dying of cancer. This was one more unhappy blow.
My aunt was 12 years old when I was born. She was always my beautiful, fun, popular aunt and always treated me and my sister so great. She married and moved to LA and would fly my sister and I down to her house and take us to Disneyland and buy us nice things to wear. That isn’t the only reason I loved her. She is a very special person. Of course, she had a lot of her own crosses to bear and went through several bad marriages. She finally met the love of her live and spent many years with him until he died of Parkinson related complications many years back. She completed changed at that time and became somewhat of a “hermit” and let herself go a little. But, she was always my beautiful “Aunt Mary”. I flew down to Palm Desert several times to spend time with her and kept in touch with letters and phone calls.
I regress, so back to my original reason for writing the blog. I never have understood why people who are your friends and good friends for many years and then all of a sudden just disappear from your life. There are certain situations right now that I am referring to as “the beginning of the end”, meaning of our friendship. Many of our friends, which I would never want to name names have never included us in with their other friends. Being me I take it really personal. “What do we do that makes people not want us around their other friends?” or “Why can’t we be included?” or “Why don’t we have more close friends?”
Craig gets so irritated with me, because we have tried the “let’s make friends” trip and it was disastrous, but I still always feel it would be nice to have a couple that we had a lot in common with to go have fun with. I have resigned that at our age that is not going to happen. Craig is really my best friend and we have a good time together sharing our life. However, everything you read suggests being healthier you need to have good friends to share things with. I’m not really sure why that is, but they seem to think it makes you more rounded.